(Click the links to read Least Envied Fictional Job #4, #5, and check out Matt’s list on the same topic on his blog)
Do you like handling all the little details?
Do you like to make others look good?
Could you make a rabid badger pageant run smoothly if you were in charge?
Does teen angst roll right off your back?
Can you wear a smile to work EVERY day?
Consider this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity as a Tribute Escort for the beloved annual Hunger Games! You will be in charge of seeing one district’s lucky contenders smoothly through the pre-game festivities and Victory Tour (if applicable). Minimum 8 years experience in event planning required, preferably in a school, pageant circuit, or other teen-oriented field. Presentable appearance and positive attitude a MUST!
Type of work: FT seasonal/temp
First, the obvious. This job is horrible. Everything about the Hunger Games (the fictional fights to the death among twenty-four teens and preteens, not the book and movie series of the same name in which they exist) is horrible.
Effie Trinket may not have noticed, but when Katniss begins to warm to Haymitch, her observations about how hard his job is apply nearly as well to hers. The job is to spend time each year helping two kids through the game prep only to (almost certainly) watch them die. There’s not a sane person this wouldn’t wear on.
But let’s suppose we’re not sane people, and we’re able to accept the Hunger Games blithely and obliviously as business as usual.
It’s not as if this can be a direct stepping stone to a more prominent career. Capitol adults can't aspire to be tributes, and there’s only one Caesar Flickerman, who doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. This is all you get, a little reflected fame off your escort-ees, and when the cameras are off and no one else is paying attention, you’re stuck with two angry and/or depressed teenagers,
Agree? Disagree? Comments are always welcome! Or keep up with my fictional musings by joining me on Facebook, on Twitter, or by signing up for email updates in the panel on the right!