But first, one more question I was asked for the tour that didn't end up being used in its intended context, one I would never have thought to write on myself but ended up having considerable fun with: how to survive the zombie apocalypse, with particular emphasis on what not to wear.
Zombie survival kit:
In most ways, zombie apocalypse survival is just like any other kind of natural disaster survival, and many of the tools are the same.
2: Nonperishable food
4: Warm clothes
6: Wind up or solar powered radio
7: Fire building kit
8: Sanity-preserving supplies such as books, card games, and board games
9: A journal, because there's a good chance you'll have a story to tell
What sets zombie survival apart is item 10.
10: Blunt weapons, and lots of them. Why blunt? They don't run out of ammo, they've got a quick learning curve, and if you're dealing with viral zombies, they're not as messy as bladed weapons. I recommend a crowbar. When scavenging, they're as useful for their intended purpose as for brain mashing.
Zombie Apocalypse Fashion:
The sad truth of zombie apocalypse fashion is "If it's boring, wear it."
Zombie survival is the epitome of practical concerns, best faced in practical attire.
Well fitting jeans
Well fitting t-shirts
Sweatshirts (should the weather so demand)
Socks and sneakers
However, as every inhabitant of a zombie-infested world soon learns, including Cassie and her friends in Confessions of the Very First Zombie Slayer (That I Know of), survival alone isn't much to survive for.
With society in ruins, you'll have to make your own fun, and let's be honest, a carefree raiding of your local mall is one of the oldest, simplest fantasies the apocalypse will bring within your reach.
Zombies lack the intelligence to associate man made bright colors with humanity and rely primarily on sound, smell, and movement to identify prey, so harmless fun to be had in fashion form after the dead rise will include:
Home tie-dyed t-shirts (these even hide inevitable stains!)
Well fitting jester's motley
Remember to exercise caution and common sense. A good set of rules to keep in mind is:
1: If it impedes movement, take it off.
2: If it's easier to grab than a naked body, take it off.
3: If it's NOT harder to bite through than a naked body, put more on. (Especially applies below the waist, where non-ambulatory zombies may catch you off guard).
Under no circumstances indulge in the following fashion statements:
Cloaks (extremely tempting as this fashion is to revive)
Long hair worn loose
Pencil skirts (I know, I'll miss my skirts too)
Potentially swoon-inducing corsets
Zombie Apocalypse Preparation:
The most important thing to do that we haven't covered so far is plan where to spend the zombie apocalypse. In the short term, while waiting for the first wave of zombies to disperse from densely populated areas, sturdy, well-stocked structures are important. If your home has thin walls or lots of windows, make other plans.
As our heroes in Confessions of the Very First Zombie Slayer (That I Know of) learn the hard way, it's best to arrange meeting places with loved ones in case of separation in advance.
Later on, when things settle down and supplies run low, assuming rescue never comes (it won't), you're going to need a way to travel. I recommend motor scooters. They’re fuel efficient, easy to learn, and small enough to navigate most wreckage. Just don't forget to stay alert on them!
Good luck, everyone, and have a happy and safe zombie apocalypse!
And of course, once more for the road...