Today I'd like to welcome Brenda Corey Dunne, author of the upcoming contemporary novel, Dependent, which will be available July 29th!
There's a giveaway at the end of this post, but first, Brenda Corey Dunne gives me one of the most chilling and straightforward answers yet to my favorite question. Fair warning, you will cry.
What frightens you, and how does it influence your writing?
About nine years ago I was in my early thirties. I was a stay-at-home mom of three pre-school aged kids and I was a military spouse living in base housing. My husband was away for a month on a military course.
There’s nothing bad in that. In fact, I was relatively content. Sure I was lonely for my husband. But there was nothing the matter with my life. I loved my babies, I loved my husband, I had enough to eat and shelter over my head and I was more than willing to be in that place at that time.
But I sat down one day and really took a look at what was happening. Through a series of postings and pregnancies I had allowed my physical therapy license to expire. Without it, I was unemployable in my chosen career. I’d basically gone from self-sufficient to completely dependent upon my husband’s income for everything.
I was, in essence, a Dependent.
It terrified me.
You see, I’m about as independent as they come. I graduated from high school at the top of my class at the age of sixteen. I went to university on a full scholarship, and then paid for my physiotherapy degree by signing up for the Regular Officer Training Plan in the Canadian Armed Forces. I bought my own car, had my own apartment and even opened my own registered savings account before the age of 24.
It’s not that I was against being a stay-at-home mom and military spouse. My kids were adorable and staying home was investing in their future in a different way. I was (and still am) incredibly proud of what I was doing at the time.
But I was against allowing all of my hard work and effort slip away. I was against the message I was presenting to my kids, especially my girls. And most of all, I was petrified that something would happen to my husband and I would be left alone with no career, no military backing and three children to raise on my own.
That day, nine years ago, I sat down and wrote out my fears in fictional form. What would life be like if the kids were grown and I was at home waiting for my husband and, God forbid, he didn’t come back? What would I do? How would I cope?
I wrote twenty pages, then forty. It was just a chapter or two, tentatively called ‘A Man at the Door’. But those two chapters would haunt me for the next seven years as my children grew. I wrote my national board exams and went back to work as a physiotherapist and rediscovered my independence.
The pages still whispered to me as I watched other spouses—friends, neighbours and complete strangers—go through what I feared most…a knock on the door. I watched their sadness and their strength, but still the story was too painful—too frightening—to continue with. I just couldn’t think about it. I cried every time I read those pages, even though they were my own words.
But I knew—deep down—that I had to keep writing. I just had to find the hope beneath the fear and finish the story. I wanted a story that was real. Raw. True. Not sugar coated to make it an easy pill to take, but filled with all of the pain and heartbreak of such a loss. And a story that resounded with the strength of military spouses, and the possibilities beyond the unthinkable. Not an easy task.
That fear finally became a novel in 2012. And that fear was my first book sold to a traditional publisher.
How has my fear influenced my writing career? It was the beginning. Forty pages that became a book…and eventually became a career.
There’s nothing bad in that. In fact, I was relatively content. Sure I was lonely for my husband. But there was nothing the matter with my life. I loved my babies, I loved my husband, I had enough to eat and shelter over my head and I was more than willing to be in that place at that time.
But I sat down one day and really took a look at what was happening. Through a series of postings and pregnancies I had allowed my physical therapy license to expire. Without it, I was unemployable in my chosen career. I’d basically gone from self-sufficient to completely dependent upon my husband’s income for everything.
I was, in essence, a Dependent.
It terrified me.
You see, I’m about as independent as they come. I graduated from high school at the top of my class at the age of sixteen. I went to university on a full scholarship, and then paid for my physiotherapy degree by signing up for the Regular Officer Training Plan in the Canadian Armed Forces. I bought my own car, had my own apartment and even opened my own registered savings account before the age of 24.
It’s not that I was against being a stay-at-home mom and military spouse. My kids were adorable and staying home was investing in their future in a different way. I was (and still am) incredibly proud of what I was doing at the time.
But I was against allowing all of my hard work and effort slip away. I was against the message I was presenting to my kids, especially my girls. And most of all, I was petrified that something would happen to my husband and I would be left alone with no career, no military backing and three children to raise on my own.
That day, nine years ago, I sat down and wrote out my fears in fictional form. What would life be like if the kids were grown and I was at home waiting for my husband and, God forbid, he didn’t come back? What would I do? How would I cope?
I wrote twenty pages, then forty. It was just a chapter or two, tentatively called ‘A Man at the Door’. But those two chapters would haunt me for the next seven years as my children grew. I wrote my national board exams and went back to work as a physiotherapist and rediscovered my independence.
The pages still whispered to me as I watched other spouses—friends, neighbours and complete strangers—go through what I feared most…a knock on the door. I watched their sadness and their strength, but still the story was too painful—too frightening—to continue with. I just couldn’t think about it. I cried every time I read those pages, even though they were my own words.
But I knew—deep down—that I had to keep writing. I just had to find the hope beneath the fear and finish the story. I wanted a story that was real. Raw. True. Not sugar coated to make it an easy pill to take, but filled with all of the pain and heartbreak of such a loss. And a story that resounded with the strength of military spouses, and the possibilities beyond the unthinkable. Not an easy task.
That fear finally became a novel in 2012. And that fear was my first book sold to a traditional publisher.
How has my fear influenced my writing career? It was the beginning. Forty pages that became a book…and eventually became a career.
About Dependent
When 45-year-old Ellen Michaels loses her husband to a tragic military accident, she is left in a world of gray. For 25 years her life has been dictated by the ubiquitous “They”—the military establishment that has included her like chattel with John’s worldly goods—his dependents, furniture, and effects. They—who have stolen her hopes, her dreams and her innocence, and now in mere months will take away the roof over her head. Ellen is left with nothing to hold on to but memories and guilt, and an awful secret that has held her in its grip since she was 19. John’s untimely death takes away her anchor, and now, without the military, there is no one to tell her where to go, what to do—no one to dictate who she is. Dependent deals with issues ever-present in today’s service families—early marriage, frequent long absences, the culture of rank, and post-traumatic stress, as well as harassment and abuse of power by higher-ranking officials. It presents a raw and realistic view of life for the lives of the invisible support behind the uniform.
About Brenda Corey Dunne
Brenda Corey Dunne, trained as a physiotherapist, worked several years as a Physiotherapy Officer in the Royal Canadian Air Force before meeting the love of her life, RCAF Colonel Tom Dunne, and becoming a military dependent herself. Brenda currently resides on a small hobby farm in Eastern Ontario, Canada, with her husband and three children.
You can find her on her blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter.
You can find her on her blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter.
