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Holiday Horrors: Black Friday

11/28/2014

In this season of warm and fuzzy good cheer, we year-round-Halloween folk feel a certain responsibility to offer a few winter chills to those like us who seek them.

After all the fun we had bringing you scares from Prospero all October long, we couldn't resist concocting this series of festive flash fics of fear.

So check back with us throughout the season for fresh, bite-sized of holiday horrors!

Holiday Horrors:
Black Friday

By F.J.R. Titchenell

From the text archives of Janet Filmore:

11/27/2014

11:56am:

We’re getting ready to open. Steve did his speech reminding us to be thankful (isn’t he so damn clever) for the restful morning and start getting excited to help make other people’s holidays happy. Yeah, that’s totally why we’re manning cash registers and not soup kitchen ladles today.

12:01pm

Enjoy dinner, Carl. I mean it. When we’re rich and famous and out of school, we’ll be together whenever we want. I’ll update you when I can.

12:11pm

People are lined up all the way across the parking lot.

12:12pm

Well, they’re not technically lined up. More like crowded up. There’s some definite pushing to be in the row close enough to push their faces against the glass. It’s like being in a zombie movie. Soon they’ll breach the perimeter.

4:04pm

Taking my first cigarette break. Thinking about you. Well, you and my dad, but he doesn’t text. Taunt me. Does dinner smell amazing yet? Say hi to your parents for me. Tell them I wish Dad and I could have joined.

5:17pm

Tide’s ebbing a bit while most of the customers start taking their turkey breaks at home, but I’m not sure if that’s better, because it distills the crazy.

5:41pm

Spent twenty minutes explaining to one woman that those new tablets have been on backorder since they were released and that I’ve never even seen one in person. I explained the same thing to her yesterday. Apparently her cousin’s boyfriend told him they’d be in for Black Friday, so of course it MUST be true.

5:45pm

There’s a guy buying three turkeys out of the freezer section. I hope he doesn’t think he can cook them by tonight. Okay, I kind of hope he does.

5:55pm

Steve’s making me take my pizza break before the rush comes back. The pizza guy looks like he probably poisoned it, but it’s hot and it’s free.

6:35pm

There’s a little girl on the floor screaming about how much she needs a new dress. She’s unbuttoned her jeans to prove that they don’t fit. Her mom is yelling at her to sit still. The mom is also doing some painful-looking math with dollars-to-inches ratios in the TV aisle and hasn’t figured out that the kid is already in women’s fashion.

6:16pm

Women’s, not girls’. That ball gown is a circus tent on her.

6:22pm

The kid’s pants are completely missing now, and the dress came off like snakeskin when she took off running again. She just slid between a security guard’s legs like Indiana Jones. I don’t think the guard is even trying.

9:06pm

That stupid time clock still says “out for break” every time someone punches out. It’s only supposed to say “out” when it’s the second punch out of a full shift, but no one’s ever seen it happen. They keep saying they’re going to fix the rest of its glitches too. Like the randomly deleted overtime. Right.

9:07pm

Think I’m going to take the clock’s advice this time and crash in the breakroom. I’m on again at five. Sleep well, Carl.

11:45pm

Harvey’s commandeered the breakroom. He’s watching some cop show on the old TV and crying. Can’t stay there, or he’ll expect me to ask why and then stay awake to hear the answer.

11/28/2014

12:21am

Found a spot in stockroom on a pallet of diapers.

2:04am

Cheryl’s all pissed that I wouldn’t help her re-stock the diaper aisle since I was in the way anyway.

5:11am

Hitting the next wave of bodies flowing in. Thought it might distract Steve, but wouldn’t let me clock back in until I bought a toothbrush and toothpaste and used them.

11:37am

My conveyor belt has developed a mouth again.

11:52am

Half of the stuff people are bringing to the front is making it into their bags, maybe less. The belt likes blue and green things best, though I can’t imagine it tastes them much, the way it swallows them whole.

12:30pm

Please answer me, Carl. I know it’s not the same, and I promise, we’ll get together and do a real meet-the-parents night when things settle down. We’ll have time for the families after the holidays are over. For now, I just need to know that you’re thinking about me.

12:39pm

I just noticed the pm on the clock. It should be daytime.

12:46pm

I think the parking lot is gone.

12:47pm

I’m standing on the little bit of raised concrete surrounding the store, and there’s nothing. No cars, no concrete, no sky. There’s nothing but black and the places in the black where the bodies come and go from.

12:49pm

They keep trampling in, and when their heavy meals and lost sleep and the effort of scrabbling over each other catches up with them, they stagger back out carrying the stuff away, but there is always more stuff.

12:50pm

Maybe it’s the same stuff, cycling back into the stockrooms when it touches the black, because there can’t be anywhere else for the bodies to carry it to.

12:51pm

This store is all there is and I am always here. I am ALWAYS here. Even when I’m with you, I’m here. I’m here or I’m going here or I’m coming from here and going back here before my break runs out, because that’s all it is when I step outside. A break.

12:54pm

I am always here I am always here I am always here I am always here

12:59pm

Are you there, Carl? Are you sleeping or doing dishes or are you finally gone too?

12:01pm

I’m thinking about stepping through the black to see where I end up.

12:06pm

Have to test it later. My break is over.

For more horrors from F.J.R. Titchenell and Matt Carter, find us on Facebook and Twitter, or check out our other works!

FJR: Facebook, Twitter, Books.
Matt: Facebook, Twitter, Books.

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Fi's Writing Tips: Writing Dialogue

11/23/2014

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I’m a relatively new author, freshly coming into my own and long way off from being able to call myself a well-seasoned expert.

It would not have occurred to me to write a list of writing tips, but as an author of a couple of published books that some people seem to like, I’m already often asked by bloggers and friends about my advice on various aspects of writing anyway.

We’ve reached November, that wonderful month when writers try their hands at finishing a novel in a month. No, I’m not participating in NaNoWriMo myself; I’ll be doing is another high speed project, trying to bring my work in progress from first draft to something readable.

But as this is a month when many first time or near first time novelists come out to play, I’ve gathered a selection of the advice I’ve found myself offering, some previously published, some not.

May it be of use.

Click here for tips on writing action.
Click here for tips on writing to scare.
Click here for tips on writing romance.

On Writing Dialogue

(Originally posted on Imogen Knight - The Reiki Circle)

Dialogue is one of my absolute favorite parts of storytelling, and as a result, it’s a part I’ve put a lot of conscious effort into getting right. Like most authors, I struggled with that stilted feeling in my earliest attempts, and I’m certain I have plenty more to learn, but I’m proud to say that I’m often told now that my funny, sweet, and/or rip-your-heart-out scenes of dialogue are my greatest strength, so here, in a nutshell, is what I’ve figured out on the topic throughout my career thus far.

First, a note on stylized vs. realist dialogue:

These are not two different techniques so much as a sliding scale. All good dialogue is, by its very nature, stylized to some extent, just as all fiction is. Reality has lots of fluff that isn’t particularly meaningful or entertaining and never leads anywhere, both in and out of conversation.

Fiction conveys emotional truth by reflecting a distilled version of the emotionally relevant parts of reality, and dialogue is no exception. 100% realistic dialogue would have a lower frequency of memorable, resonating moments and be unreadably long-winded and aimless in places. On the other hand, dialogue that is far enough removed from reality that it no longer feels sincere has also failed at fiction’s goal.

Whether you aspire to be an uncanny realist or the novelist version of Quentin Tarantino, these tips should help give your dialogue the impact you’re looking for.

1: Listen to your characters.

Really listen. Hear what they sound like. All people, even people who grew up together, have slightly different speech patterns. Your characters should too. Depending on their life experiences and individual dispositions, different characters will use different turns of phrase, often turns of phrase you wouldn’t choose for yourself.

They’ll also verbally respond to situations differently. Some will have emotional outbursts at the drop of a hat, and some won’t. A volatile character who doesn’t react to a major occurrence will feel wrong (unless there’s an exceptional reason for it), as will a usually stable character having a meltdown over a minor occurrence (again, unless their unusual reaction is a noted plot point). If you need a tough character to have a meltdown, be prepared to arrange a plot that will convincingly push him or her over the edge.

That said, if you’re going to write a dialect dramatically different from your own, be careful. Study people who speak it, and err on the side of subtlety.

2: Write it from all sides.

Give all characters the dignity of speaking as if the scene is from their perspective. As writers, controlling all sides of a conversation, we have the power to tweak things a little bit to set characters up for better reactive lines than we’re likely to get in reality, but don’t abuse the privilege.

Every line spoken by every character, even the most minor of minor characters, must have some plausible, in-character thought process behind it. If a character only says something to set another character up for a line, or to offer exposition to the reader, the line will sound unnatural.

If you can’t find an effective way to rationalize it from the speaker’s perspective, find another way to slip in that exposition, or cut that great comeback you were setting up. Your work will benefit from it as a whole.

3: Remember that a scene is more than a script. It’s also a performance.

Your readers can’t see or hear your characters the way you can. They can only see the words. Think about how many different undertones the word “okay” can carry, depending on whether it’s said grudgingly, cheerfully, or somewhere in between. Consciously look for any unintentional way the spirit of the words could be lost or misinterpreted, and make the mood clear. A single line description of a character’s body language can make all the difference.

4: Let characters say what they want to say, not what you want to say.

Few things are more obvious or damaging to suspension of disbelief than an author pushing characters into a sock puppet argument analyzing an issue. Characters can certainly express beliefs if they come up naturally and help to develop the plot or relationships, but those beliefs must believably belong to those characters and be expressed the way those characters would spontaneously express them. When dialogue begins to sound like a rehearsed, structured demonstration by a school debate club, it no longer belongs in fiction.

If your story has a message, trust the subtle, honest exploration of the world, characters, and events to communicate it naturally.

5: As in all things, show, don’t tell.

People rarely talk about how they feel in clear, clinical terms. Moments of startling honesty are great if they’re used sparingly and set up believably, such as when characters are under extreme pressure, chemically/magically/otherwise mentally altered, or in company they deeply trust, but often a point can be made much more effectively through how they say things and in what they don’t say.

Suppose your characters are making up after a big fight. A gesture of peace, a few brief words about the heart of the problem, or even a few words about some inconsequential detail of the fight if your characters are still skirting their issues, will take you much further than a whole chapter of them analyzing their psyches in marital counseling session levels of detail.

6: Finally, say it out loud!

Act it out, the whole conversation, back and forth, the way you intend it to sound, with the narration left out. It’s the most effective way to identify those last little awkward parts that need adjusting, reactions that don’t quite follow logically, contractions that need to be added or removed.

Happy writing, everyone, and may your dialogue sparkle!

Agree? Disagree? Comments are always welcome! Or keep up with my fictional musings by joining me on Facebook, on Twitter, or by signing up for email updates in the panel on the right!

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Fi's Writing Tips: Writing Romance

11/16/2014

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On Writing Romance

(Originally posted on A Love That Can't Be Stopped)

Boy meets girl. He’s handsome, she’s beautiful, they fall in love, they conquer some obstacles and they live happily ever after (or not). We all know the story, right?

Therein lies the difficulty.

I have an odd relationship with fictional romance. I’d have to call myself a romantic, in that I love a good love story following a good couple. Romance is a part of just about everything I write, often my favorite part.

That said, the operative word is part. Most of my favorite romances in fiction would be classified as subplots. The favorites I have that are most central to the stories (Hazel and Augustus of The Fault in Our Stars, R and Julie of Warm Bodies, Lena and Alex of Delirium) still have major plot elements outside of the relationships (terminal cancer, the zombie apocalypse, and a dystopia threatening them with routine lobotomies respectively).

Why is that? Because we know the constants of romance. It’s the variations that allow us to feel it all over again. There are only so many times we (or at least I) can reread two people going through the dating dance, focusing on its moves as if they’re the most important thing in the world. But when those two people’s lives are going through the wringer of another story in its own right, and what they feel for each other can realistically stand up against everything that should eclipse it and keep on mattering just the same, that’s when I believe it. That’s when I care.

So the first ingredient in my personal recipe for romance is a premise that doesn’t start with boy meets girl.

As romance-centric as YA often is, the basic nature of the format actually helps with this, because all teenagers are living a story that’s more than a romance. There’s a coming-of-age element built in. The Prospero Chronicles of course also has the alien invasion that Ben and Mina come together to fight.

Then, with premise in place, our couple does have to meet, and the next two ingredients are the two characters. Sounds obvious, but this is where I see a lot of fictional romances fall short. For a great romance, you need two characters, with their own histories, desires, agendas, strengths and flaws, ways they fit each other and ways they don’t, not one character and a half-character constructed to fit the first one’s romantic needs.

Next, the two characters need something to bind them together. An instant spark between them can be nice, but a situational reason they have to keep seeing each other goes a long way toward giving them time to bond believably in spite of the next ingredient: something the push them apart.

The happy ending can’t be too much of a foregone conclusion, or why bother sticking around to read it? Their personal differences, their circumstances, or both can work for this.

Last but not least, to reach to the heartstrings, I believe a great romance needs at least a sprinkling of anti-romance, like adding a pinch of salt to cookie dough to intensify the sweetness. Love isn’t all poetry and candlelit dinners. The parts we remember aren’t all poetry and candlelit dinners. We remember blistered feet and carrying the uncomfortable shoes that seemed like a good idea for that candlelit dinner. We remember holding each other’s hair while accidentally sharing a stomach flu. We remember laughing at each other’s bad jokes.

When your characters start to love each other at their worst as well as their best, when they love each other for who they are and how hard they try, not how well they succeed at the superficial details of the repetitive romance game we play, that’s when we feel for them. That’s when we love them too.

Agree? Disagree? Comments are always welcome! Or keep up with my fictional musings by joining me on Facebook, on Twitter, or by signing up for email updates in the panel on the right!

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Fi's Writing Tips: Writing to Scare

11/9/2014

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I’m a relatively new author, freshly coming into my own and long way off from being able to call myself a well-seasoned expert.

It would not have occurred to me to write a list of writing tips, but as an author of a couple of published books that some people seem to like, I’m already often asked by bloggers and friends about my advice on various aspects of writing anyway.

We’ve reached November, that wonderful month when writers try their hands at finishing a novel in a month. No, I’m not participating in NaNoWriMo myself; I’ll be doing is another high speed project, trying to bring my work in progress from first draft to something readable.

But as this is a month when many first time or near first time novelists come out to play, I’ve gathered a selection of the advice I’ve found myself offering, some previously published, some not.

May it be of use.

(Click here for last week's tips on writing action scenes)

On Writing to Scare

(Originally posted on the Jolly Fish Press blog)

The Evil Within:

Villains and monsters that are thoroughly alien are frightening, but so are the ones that are a little too familiar. There’s a special kind of horror that comes from understanding a villain, comprehending how easily a person could end up that way.

Among these kinds of villains, I personally have a soft spot for The Riddler. His obsession with proving himself is sick and destructive, but it’s also relatable.

Equally horrifying are the protagonists you root for until – and even after – realizing that they’ve done worse things than some of your favorite villains for their perfectly relatable reasons. One of my favorites is Sweeny Todd, whose well-earned revenge story turns into a massive, senseless serial slaughter.

Which of these sorts of characters speak to you will depend largely on who you are. My own grayest heroes and villains generally have prominent egos and an obsessive intensity of focus. Dare to put what scares you about yourself on the page, and chances are there are other people it’ll scare too.

Control (and Lack Thereof):

I find this the single most indispensable weapon in my horror writing arsenal. While it’s true that not everyone in the world is as big a control freak as I am, there are many people who are, and I’m convinced that everyone suffers from control-related fear to some extent or other.

Consider, for example, a few of my own real life fears: falling, flying, and going under general anesthetic. All variants of the fear of losing control, and they’re among the most common fears in the world.

Bringing that fear into fiction can be challenging, because if your protagonist is out of control all the time, he or she ceases to be a protagonist. Your readers will quickly lose patience with total powerlessness and look for hope in some other book. The trick is knowing when to give characters control, and when to take it away.

Zombies are a great example of the necessary balance. Half the fun of zombies is in fighting back. Characters get to pick up weapons, barricade doors, and compare body counts. Then you’ve got zombie bites sprinkled in, ultimate helplessness, enough time to anticipate impending death without any possible recourse.

When playing with loss of control, think of your characters not as riders on a rollercoaster so much as inexperienced ice-skaters on a lake. Taking control of their own paths is challenging for them but both possible and necessary. The villains and monsters aren’t doing the driving, but they can throw rocks in the way. Tension builds and maintains nicely as your characters steer themselves through danger. Then, occasionally, a skate hits a rock, and then a skater hits the ice and sits up to assess the damage (or not).

The rock is scary, the ice is scary, but it’s in that instant of helpless freefall in between, the place between the zombie teeth and death, where I find true terror.

Agree? Disagree? Comments are always welcome! Or keep up with my fictional musings by joining me on Facebook, on Twitter, or by signing up for email updates in the panel on the right!

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Fi's Writing Tips: Action Scenes

11/1/2014

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On Writing Action Scenes

I find that the trick with action scenes is to balance giving enough detail that the reader doesn't have any unintentional trouble understanding what's going on, while giving the sentences the short, quick rhythm of the action itself.

Imagine the scene as it would be in a movie. You need to describe it, but because you don't have camera tricks and incidental music stings to make the audience feel how you want them to, you have to do that with the words as well. I like to imagine every paragraph break as a camera cut, and try to make it clear what we're looking at next as fast as possible.

The easiest traps to fall into are general descriptions that are too vague, like "they were fencing," or blow-by-blow, exhaustive choreographic descriptions that still feel distant. I recommend choosing a few important sensory details to focus on when describing each action. In the fencing example, what sound do the swords make against each other? Do they spark? Are the fencers sweating and stumbling, or do they make it look easy?

As well as compensating for the limitations of prose, make the most of the advantages you have as a novelist over a filmmaker. We don't have as many when it comes to action as we do in other areas, because you don't want to spend too much time on internal monologue during action, but you have room for a few quick thoughts that would be harder to get across onscreen.

And we do have unlimited budget. So any way you can think of to push the action a little further that would suit the story, go for it! For example, in the earliest draft of one of my (unpublished) early works, a building our heroes were in was just attacked by three giant, mind-controlled tarantulas. The scene didn't feel big enough, so they became a full swarm of giant, mind-controlled, magically altered, flamethrowing tarantulas.

The only limits are those you choose to set for the world you create.

Agree? Disagree? Comments are always welcome! Or keep up with my fictional musings by joining me on Facebook, on Twitter, or by signing up for email updates in the panel on the right!

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Holiday Horrors: Black Friday

Holiday Horrors:
Black Friday

By F.J.R. Titchenell

Fi's Writing Tips: Writing Dialogue

On Writing Dialogue

Fi's Writing Tips: Writing Romance

On Writing Romance

Fi's Writing Tips: Writing to Scare

On Writing to Scare

Fi's Writing Tips: Action Scenes

On Writing Action Scenes

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Fiona J.R. Titchenell:

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Holiday Horrors: Black Friday

Holiday Horrors:Black FridayBy F.J.R. Titchenell

Fi's Writing Tips: Writing Dialogue

On Writing Dialogue

Fi's Writing Tips: Writing Romance

On Writing Romance

Fi's Writing Tips: Writing to Scare

On Writing to Scare

Fi's Writing Tips: Action Scenes

On Writing Action Scenes

Get updates fromFiona J.R. Titchenell:

Search This Blog:

Support Fiona J.R. Titchenell and get exclusive content:

Find​Fiona J.R. Titchenell:

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Holiday Horrors:
Black Friday

By F.J.R. Titchenell

Get updates from
Fiona J.R. Titchenell:

Find
Fiona J.R. Titchenell: