As one might expect, following our Thanksgiving-and-day-job-layoff-inspired November lists of five fictional jobs we’re thankful we can’t have, the Titchenell-Carter house, like many, is now entering a somewhat restrained Christmas shopping season this year.
Not to worry! As with most everything we do, Matt and I are observing the tradition of wishing for things we can’t have with special gusto, resulting in our December five part series of the fictional items on our Christmas lists! (You can follow his list on his blog here).
First of all, Santa, please bring me tickets to…
I know I’m far from the only person who’d love to take a holiday vacation here, and there will be no shortage of other items from the Harry Potter universe on this month’s list, but I’d be lying if I said this one didn’t make the cut.
Hogsmeade is a magical, quiet-yet-touristy village in the fictional universe I’ve spent more time vicariously living in than any other, the one that defined my childhood, and it’s said, in winter, to look like the cover of a Christmas card. Sounds like the best place short of home to be during the holidays.
This trip I can take when the festivities are over. I’m a museum lover with a childlike fascination with science exhibits. The Knowledgeum is probably based at least partly on the California Science Center, which I’m lucky enough to have within day trip range in the real world, but unlike pretty much everything else in the Simpsons universe, parody actually makes the Knowledgeum look cooler instead of horrifying. I may not be brave enough to walk the Velcro ceiling, but I’ll play the sex ed videogame!
I have a love hate relationship with the Klingons, but I have no doubt at all that they do opera right. For all their faults, they’re romantics at heart, and no one can say they lack passion. Klingons bring a Shakespearean, Tolkienian vibe to every Trek episode they’re involved in. In short, they know epic. I want to see a story of that spirit set to an appropriately classically epic soundtrack. Plus, Klingon’s a great, consonant-heavy language that won’t get lost in all the extended notes. Just let me reach conversational proficiency first!
No mutilation allowed, and I shall arrive will all my existing work backed up to every offsite storage service known to man, but I’d love to see if I could make this bookworm’s heart leap. Misery is one of my favorite movies to watch when I need to get inspired and in the mood, and the book does an even better job of exploring how Annie’s uneducated but often insightful judgment of popcorn fiction helps sharpen Paul Sheldon’s skills and revive his artistic passion.
What do you say we get a bunch of writers together and go on a retreat with her (and some armed security guards)? We can do short story competitions! If only I knew she read YA Sci-Fi….
Agree? Disagree? Comments are always welcome! Or keep up with my fictional musings by joining me on Facebook, on Twitter, or by signing up for email updates in the panel on the right!