Why it’s embarrassing:
Be honest, when I hinted at a Batman entry on this list, you guys thought I was going to say The Joker, didn’t you?
Be honest, when I hinted at a Batman entry on this list, you guys thought I was going to say The Joker, didn’t you?
Well, I’ll admit, I’m not immune to the charms of the baddest of the badboys in the DC (and arguably any) universe, and he certainly takes my sucker-for-the-funny-guy thing to a disturbing new level, but there’s one member of Batman’s rogues gallery I find even more crush-worthy, for even more disgusting reasons.
In his classic incarnation, Riddler is a villain, no question about it, so that’s reason number one to be embarrassed about liking him. Like all good, sexy villains, he appeals to the instinct every smart girl (and plenty of smart boys) must to learn to repress, that sick, self-destructive, primeval one that cries, “Scary = dominant = good genetic stock!”
But unlike The Joker, Hannibal Lector, and all the other classic examples of this phenomenon, Riddler can’t quite exude that effortlessly powerful brand of evil, try as he might. His villainy isn’t driven by either sadism or rational selfishness but by acute narcissism. Everything he does is for the sake of his enormous but painfully fragile ego. He leaves those riddle-encoded clues to his crimes out of a compulsive need to prove his mental superiority, to the world and to himself.
So, reason number two for the embarrassment factor, on top of being evil, Riddler’s also kind of a little bitch.
Why I can’t help myself:
First, the obvious. Riddler’s a genius. Not as perfect and unrivaled a genius as he wants to be, but a genius nonetheless. I’m a sucker for the smart guy as much as the funny guy. In fact, I find the two are very often the same thing. Also, let us not underestimate the power of cute red hair.
But unlike The Joker, Hannibal Lector, and all the other classic examples of this phenomenon, Riddler can’t quite exude that effortlessly powerful brand of evil, try as he might. His villainy isn’t driven by either sadism or rational selfishness but by acute narcissism. Everything he does is for the sake of his enormous but painfully fragile ego. He leaves those riddle-encoded clues to his crimes out of a compulsive need to prove his mental superiority, to the world and to himself.
So, reason number two for the embarrassment factor, on top of being evil, Riddler’s also kind of a little bitch.
Why I can’t help myself:
First, the obvious. Riddler’s a genius. Not as perfect and unrivaled a genius as he wants to be, but a genius nonetheless. I’m a sucker for the smart guy as much as the funny guy. In fact, I find the two are very often the same thing. Also, let us not underestimate the power of cute red hair.
But here’s the real, terrible reason I find The Riddler irresistible, the reason I spend bad day job shifts fantasizing about stapling question marks to my clothes and running away to become his more dignified Harley Quinn equivalent. It's also the reason this dashing man qualifies as even more embarrassing to crush on than a one-eyed cartoon mouse.
If I were ever to snap, abandon all morality and compassion I was born or raised with, embrace the very worst facets of my character, and become a supervillain, this is exactly what it would look like:
If I were ever to snap, abandon all morality and compassion I was born or raised with, embrace the very worst facets of my character, and become a supervillain, this is exactly what it would look like:
(Should this video stop working, just go to YouTube and search "Arkham City Riddler Trailer." You'll find it.)
My Riddler crush says reprehensible things about me, much worse than my odd and occasionally questionable taste in men. The way Joker and Harley represent the fantasy of freedom from all sanity and responsibility, The Riddler represents freedom from polite humility. He's a pure, unleashed competitive drive, unrestrained lust to prove oneself. He’s the worst of me, and that’s why I love him.
Hey, we’ve all got a dark side, and if you’re spending your free time reading a nerdy writer’s blog, there’s a fair chance that yours might look a lot like mine, like The Riddler. But even if your personal demons and weaknesses usually lie elsewhere, try to tell me you’ve never, possibly while under the thumb of a particularly dim-witted teacher or supervisor, had the urge to issue a challenge that sounds at least a little bit like,
Hey, we’ve all got a dark side, and if you’re spending your free time reading a nerdy writer’s blog, there’s a fair chance that yours might look a lot like mine, like The Riddler. But even if your personal demons and weaknesses usually lie elsewhere, try to tell me you’ve never, possibly while under the thumb of a particularly dim-witted teacher or supervisor, had the urge to issue a challenge that sounds at least a little bit like,
"The Riddler is better than you."
